I sure don't do so well at keeping this up to date! Typical of me though. So after 2 weeks or so of away time, I am recharged and ready for home time. My running is improving slowly, certainly going farther now. I've made it 10 miles and need to go 11 tomorrow. Bob's success is inspiring and motivating, but my legs are frustrating me. I'm battling shin splints and hamstring tightness but being aware and keeping as loose as possible as I run has been helping. So my running is mindful - but I have been lax on sitting. Take it easy on yourself, Jules. Just can do what I can, one moment at a time.
New kitten is very sweet; it's nice to be back to my dog Misha though, and I look forward to runs with him again.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
effect & affect
In his quest for enlightenment, Buddha focused on understanding what could bring an end to suffering. His quest is one each of us can follow. I am tempted to say easily, but nothing is easy! including nothingness. The more I learn of the Dharma, the more I realize the importance of truths which I have known for a long time. This includes things like:
Every thing we do, say, feel, etc., all parts of our illusional self, have effects on everything else. We are inextricably connected. Our reactions to things which we encounter are amplified because of this. It is really important to react with compassion, with metta, for this reason. It is not necessary to be happy about the situation, but to react and dwell in the "pot of suffering" (to paraphrase Bob) is an affect which serves to amplify the effect of the problem. Being mindful of one's own reaction is a more useful and benign way to deal with things. Sometimes one realizes then that the reaction actually has little to do with the situation. Yesterday I realized that I was feeling impatient, and the reason was actually that I was angry that my partner was sometimes impatient with me in a similar circumstance. The "feeling" changed completely.
Today I stumbled on another interesting facet of this idea of interconnectedness. I said to my partner, "you are funny even if noone hears you." Then I did a double take, recalling some Zen Koans like the tree falling in the forest, or one hand clapping. I remembered the truth of our interconnectedness, in fact, the reality of my "non-self". What I choose to do, say, be, is and should be independent of being seen or heard. By acting not for my ego, but for the connection to all life which manifests in my breath, I can make "right" choices.
The illusion of presence, my ego, is subjective, impermanent, really nothing at all, but still reverberates karmic energy. I am a mistake-ridden human; my choice is not whether or not to make mistakes, but what energy I multiply in response to my own, or others' mistakes.
Every thing we do, say, feel, etc., all parts of our illusional self, have effects on everything else. We are inextricably connected. Our reactions to things which we encounter are amplified because of this. It is really important to react with compassion, with metta, for this reason. It is not necessary to be happy about the situation, but to react and dwell in the "pot of suffering" (to paraphrase Bob) is an affect which serves to amplify the effect of the problem. Being mindful of one's own reaction is a more useful and benign way to deal with things. Sometimes one realizes then that the reaction actually has little to do with the situation. Yesterday I realized that I was feeling impatient, and the reason was actually that I was angry that my partner was sometimes impatient with me in a similar circumstance. The "feeling" changed completely.
Today I stumbled on another interesting facet of this idea of interconnectedness. I said to my partner, "you are funny even if noone hears you." Then I did a double take, recalling some Zen Koans like the tree falling in the forest, or one hand clapping. I remembered the truth of our interconnectedness, in fact, the reality of my "non-self". What I choose to do, say, be, is and should be independent of being seen or heard. By acting not for my ego, but for the connection to all life which manifests in my breath, I can make "right" choices.
The illusion of presence, my ego, is subjective, impermanent, really nothing at all, but still reverberates karmic energy. I am a mistake-ridden human; my choice is not whether or not to make mistakes, but what energy I multiply in response to my own, or others' mistakes.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I begin to seek time for meditation more regularly. I am glad that it just draws me, that I want to be still. I have always been one for mindful activity, but I finally understand that it is wonderful, but not the same. It is not easy for me to be still, ADH that I am. Sometimes my legs just twitch. But my sitting is improving. LOL and so is my running!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Disconnect the dots
Impressionist art - some of my favorite works, in particular Camille Pisarro. Although I cannot paint that way myself (my work is painfully and painstakingly realistic). I greatly admire the ability to transform an image into points of color. So the Dharma I received today is fascinating. To approach "now", one needs to disconnect the dots! Just know the colors, awareness of the sense of sight. Because now is more immediate than the interpretation of image by our brains.
If you have named it, it is not now anymore. I have had a sensation from time to time, a sort of blurring of perception, like visual "white noise", sort of as though my eyes lost their network signal. I never associated it with meditation, although I have been aware of the state as being one of extraordinarily objective perception. Today, I read the teaching which explains this state, and tried to incorporate it into my practise. Of course, trying is the antithesis of success with such a mind state. In fact, the way to get there is simply to allow the dots to remain disconnected. It works with sound and touch as well.
The other striking ideas for today were about time. We are not separate observers of time, we ARE time itself. Each incalculably brief point of now
If you have named it, it is not now anymore. I have had a sensation from time to time, a sort of blurring of perception, like visual "white noise", sort of as though my eyes lost their network signal. I never associated it with meditation, although I have been aware of the state as being one of extraordinarily objective perception. Today, I read the teaching which explains this state, and tried to incorporate it into my practise. Of course, trying is the antithesis of success with such a mind state. In fact, the way to get there is simply to allow the dots to remain disconnected. It works with sound and touch as well.
The other striking ideas for today were about time. We are not separate observers of time, we ARE time itself. Each incalculably brief point of now
Monday, August 17, 2009
Why is present (or presence) elusive ( and illusionary)
When I was young I became aware that the way I viewed the world was distorted by my space, by my perspective... I had a fantasy of creating art which included the frame of the creator's perspective as well as the object perceived. Sort of like painting the window through which one was looking as well as the view. Decades later, I began to grasp the fleeting nature of time's distortion upon perception. The principles which explain what we perceive as matter are only probabilities because the tool of life with which we measure reality exists only in presence. The defining of reality is impossible because definition, or resolution if you wish, are inherently "backward" looking measuremeants, thus obsolete before comprehension. We can only "Be Here Now".
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